Lumina Infinite

I caught up with this blog via comments at Kris' blog. I'm linking this post here because I am quite certain that the _____________________ will dig it. Word.

Lumina Infinite: Response to a Love Letter

Come On Feel The Illinoise

Why didn't I know that Sufjan Stevens had a new album out?

Raise finger 'here'

The Arcade Fire is playing. In PDX. On the 20th of August.

There's a huge-full page-spread in the Willy Week. For a moment, my heart soared-I was going to see one of the great bands of the year. I was going to see-

-Wait.
Wait.

The Crystal Ballroom.

Huh. Lessee. I could pay 16+service charges to see a band at a venue where the sound is so bad I might as well see the screaming chants of the monks of Peru, or I could use that money on beer and play a great record at home. And still have enough to go out for beer for me and the sweetie.

I think the choice is clear.

Goes great with my morning pastry.

I went to the kitchen for a drink of water, and maybe a beer, which I decided against. In the process I thought to myself, 'hmm...beer for dessert' and then I thought 'ah-ha...beer a la mode' which I thought was clever, albeit a brief moment. But that reminded me of this aberration I saw at the store today.

- if the shoe fits -

I learned a new word.
Google Search: define:laconic

Austin City Limits - 2005 Festival

Holy shit that is a lot of fucking music. I'm considering the fact that I ought to consider going to this thing. Carpe diem and all that.

Austin City Limits - 2005 Festival

What!? NO DELTA FORCE??

Maybe you'll understand the extent of my disappointment when I tell you that NETFLIX only has one selection featuring Chuck Norris and it's a Special Interest video.

Broken Habit

For nearly two years I faithfully employed the clicking mechanism of my mouse to take me to the Penny Arcade website. Somehow over the last year I've lost that habit. I've taken a few moments today to dig in their archives and see if I could pick up where I left off and get back in the groove. It will no doubt be some enjoyable reading.

I picked up this quote from there today as regards discussion of the film Requiem for a Dream. Tycho has a knack for syncing the reality of his thoughts with those of the readers. At least that's my take. Here's the quote:

J"Jennifer Connelly is hot to death. Staring intently into a mirror, I once said her name for an hour in the hopes that she would suddenly appear."

Ok. That's a bit weird. I just went to imdb.com to create a link to info about Requiem for a Dream and/or Jennifer Connelly and the blurb for Dark Water starring Miss Connelly headed up the front page of the site.

And since I was at imdb.com I looked up the movie The Cutter starring Chuck Norris. You won't want to miss this. A chunk of this movie was filmed, and takes place in, Spokane. Just try to deny me the bragging rights.

autograph.jpg (JPEG Image, 800x406 pixels)

Scanned this today. I'm sure I blogged about it last year but Frank Black came into my workplace last April when they played in town. I was able to get his autograph. Now I have a scanner and can display it to the world. Wee.

Heart

I recently praised the new Stars album Set Yourself on Fire. Well I recently bought what I believe is their first album Heart. Consider it praised as well.

Brought to you by the letters IPA.

Where's a Bozo The Clown bop-bag when I need it?

I had one of those, or something very similar when I was a kid. As fun as it was I think it would be more therapeutic as an thirty-something adult.

For those not in the know, my brain likes to play friendly games of the OCD variety with me. On occasion I can be quite irritated with this. Right now I want to hit something.

Consider Bozo on my wish list.

And to quote myself, "Yurg."

Oh brother.

Ananova reports: Franz Ferdinand say the band's second album will have the same title and cover as their first.

And all future albums by the band will have the same name - Franz Ferdinand.

The band told the NME the albums would be distinguishable only by their colour schemes.

Taken from Antimusic.com.

$4.29 or "How I spent 36 minutes of making lattes on a skin pic."

I tried not buying it. Well, I kind of tried.

Ok, fine! I didn't really try, but I gave it some thought.

What can I say?

I'm addressing guilty pleasures and I decided this flaxen haired patriot is one of them.

Besides, now I can LOOK SHARP // LIVE SMART.



ah...screw you.

Gripping drama.

It's true, I have a knack for making comebacks in FPS deathmatches. I think it just comes down to getting my footing on a map or figuring which weapon works for me.

My favorite has to be a 15 kill comeback to tie Grant in Halo 2 at 22 or 23 kills and then fighting out those last two kills. I'm not sure who won that match, but it sure was a blast. There've been many games where I filled that gap and then lost but it sure is fun.

I'm back from Spokane. This will continue my month+ of either visiting or having visitors. Next weekend, more people come into town.

Watching my niece was rewarding and strangely tiring. I have a greater understanding of single parenthood now, and I tip my cap, once again, to you. It's fucking hard.

The server at work was down most of the morning, so nothing got done. I can't check my email right now, b/c it's down for maintence. I love email. I miss it when it's gone.

My beer has started brewing. This is good.

Currently listening to Head Automatica, which is good stuff. Feels like a dance album made by people who love it, but don't make dance music. Time to attempt to work. Or something.

Timesplitters is mucho fun. I don't suck at FPS where I'm on semi-equal footing. Or maybe it's the chimps. (Chimpicide! is my new favorite exclaimation) You try hating a game where you can play a ninja chimp. You can't, can you? (I still suck at the FPS, though. AHo made a 9 kill comeback in one game where I only had 1 kill to go to win. This is the extent of my suck)
http://www.eagames.com/redesign/games/ps2/timesplitters/home.jsp

I guess that's the news that's fit to print.

It's Hot. And I'm Hot. Or Not.

I'm moving shit around. My computer happens to sit in the hottest part of my house. It is going elsewhere - the coolest room in the house. Which happens to be my bedroom. Which happens to be where I don't sleep. It has become more of a storage area. Now it is becoming The Den.

Got whistled at today. Hmm.

Beer. oh yeah. My new rule/flowchart -

Q=Am I at the store?
if A=Yes then buy beer.
if A= No then goto Q.

you get the idea.

reprinted w/o Dan's permission -- Rants soulanger, fucked stuff

This is beautiful.

6/17
Hey fuckers. Quit making out on the bus.
You sound like frogs being hurled at a windshield.
In a just world, I'd be able to thwock the both of you with my William Gibson book, and you'd have to just look shamefaced at your idiocy. Instead, I have to put up with your grotesque, old-people fucking type noises as you attempt to slurp up a relationship in public that has no fucking chance.
Quit it.

I like chocolate.

So, driving home from Grant & Kristol's wedding on Sunday w/ Nathan, he says to me, "I just saved a lot of money on my car insurance, by switching away from Geico." That boy funny.

Also, I have a guilty pleasure to confess too. I don't go out of my way to watch it but I do enjoy watching Judge Judy. Helps me feel much better about myself and my life. And there's nothing wrong with that. I wonder if there are DVDs?


A!

Validation!

"In Sealed, you do about ten times as much work in the deckbuilding step. Besides needing to know how to build for a Sealed environment (in which certain cards can be wildly more - or less - valuable than they are in Draft), you also need to be able to compare power levels of different builds across entire different color combinations. After you've decided on your colors, your archetype, and most of your build, then you start to narrow down your last few debatable slots."- Richard Feldman @ Starcitygames

This-this is why it's such a big deal that one Brandon R Keaton screwed me over at the last Geek Riot. We were playing sealed-and his little trick hosed me, and now I can point, exactly, to why. Actually, I feel better in a way; I really hold a lot less blame for my performance that day.

Off to make comments!

I am too sexy, too damn sexy.

So. I've been listening to Stars ~Set Yourself on Fire. Repeatedly. For days. The first couple of times I liked it just fine. But then I'd play it again, and once more, you know, for good measure. Now it seems it's always on. Hooked the lady of the lake up w/ a couple of songs and she digs it as well. She's going on a trip. I really, really hope she has a really, really good time. She's good peeps.

Haven't done much on here lately, haven't been reading my normal blogs much either, I wonder what Kris and Peelio are up to. Been busy on the eBay, and sleeping.

Recent realization: Starving for affection. Had a couple of blue days over that. I'm over it. But still hungry.

My good friend Grant just got married. It was by far the most meaningful wedding I have ever been to. It's nice to know that these two people are going to make it and that there going to do it well, and with style. Word & applause.

Riddick. Hard. Zelda -The Wind Waker. Don't care, selling it. KotOR. Haven't touched it. Halo 2? I'm only better than Dan. Vince smoked my ass the other day and today I'm going to Nato's for dinner, and I imagine we will play Halo 2. He will destroy me. Maybe we'll play LIVE w/ his 13 year-old nephew. From what I understand he will detroy us. Hitman 3. Bought it sometime ago. Have played all of 10 minutes. Will play it someday. Conker Reloaded is coming out soon. It will be cheap and used someday. Oddworld: Strangers Wrath. Deserves my attention. Resident Evil 4. Need to finish. It is AmaZing. With a capital Z.

Beck's is on sale into July. I will drink my share. The sun is shining. The cat is sleeping, somewhere. I need to pee. And that's my queue. Later.

A!

busy, busy busy

There is a great deal to do today. All of it involves me getting the hell out of work and going home. Work is less relevant to my universe than home shit is. Maybe I really do need a new job.

Been listening to music. Bloc Party: way awesome. Sleater Kinney; undecided. Some good moments, but the 'greatness' of The Woods has not demonstrated itself yet. It doesn't suck, but it doesn't leave an impression on me either.

I need to update my regular site some, but I've just been too busy at home to do it.

Hey; what are some good fighing games for the Xbox? Ended up playing Fight Club and goddamn my thumbs hurt. It was not a fun game. I need to suggest better ones.

Starting up "Sly Cooper 2". The Boo recommends it. And next week, Psychonauts comes out for the PS2. Good times.

Beer.

1970's Metal Pepsi Challenge pin

oooohhhhhh ahhhhhhhhh.

there is no substitute.

Perhaps you were born in the late-late 70's or early 80's, or later. You may not remember how big a deal the Pepsi Challenge was. It was everywhere, threatening to dethrone, what I consider, the King of Cola. I think nearly everyone picked Pepsi over Coke in that little contest, I sure did. Maybe we were psychologically conditioned to after all the hype. Maybe they just told you that you picked Pepsi regardless of the actual result. New Coke sucked and I provide these links as a reminder or history lesson. It is not important, just nostalgic.

p.s. I even like Pepsi, to a degree, but it just isn't Coca~Cola.

be jealous

for tonight I watch Red Dawn.

This camel is thirsty.

I want a taco.

Giveth and taketh

Well. The new feature Pitchfork has on music in videogames is pretty neat. It's well written, and gave me a chunk to think upon.

For example: my experience in Metal Gear Solid 2 was pretty much hampered by the shitty, shitty Hans Zimmer score. God that music was boring. I don't blame Zimmer so much-he was apparently sent emails that said "Give us something heroic!" or "Write tension" but he didn't know what the hell he was working on. So of course, when I play the game, and the music seems to drag me down, who's surprised by that?

[aside There's note of Psychonauts in the Pitchfork feature, and I want to play that game very, very badly. It's not out for the PS2 yet, so I wait. AHo, I've heard nothing but good things about this one, so if you find it used...]

One of the keys in that article, for me, is how the person orchestrating the music and sound has to be involved in the game, top to bottom. This is, I think, one of the things that makes games so interesting-and expensive. I mean; once Star Wars is finished, John Williams can watch it, take his pre-scored notes (by now, scoring Star Wars has got to be like shooting the dead), and head to the studio to work on recordings. Now, I realize it's not that simple-but since movies aren't as interactive, and they tend to be finished piecemeal, work can be done like this.

The sound in a game has to be continually worked on, since, from what I've learned about game development, the things are almost always works in progress. Sound has to be part of the progamming put into the game-if for no other reason (I'm guessing) than to make sure the soundfiles don't fuck up the the gameplay. It would really suck to discover that when Kratos does his triple spin move and hits a stone column, the resulting 'chunk' noise causes the game to wig out and you have to start over.

What's weird is; we notice these things, even when we don't. It took me 2 weeks after finishing MGS2 before I realized how dull the music was-and how that mattered. And we'll accept such strange sounds; I know that chests don't open with that 'crenk' noise that they make in Final Fantasy games, but hey; that's the sound they make. When they make a different sound-that's usually when I worry.

I don't exactly know where I'm going with this, at this point, so I guess it's a good time to stop.

Ugh

Pitchfork: you suck.

If I wanted a treatise on how inane rock lyrics can be, I wouldn't click on a link for an Audioslave record review. What was done wasn't clever, entertaining, or even a reasonable mockery of Audioslave or rock.

Stop being dicks and actually review the fucking records. If you can't do that, then at least warn me that I won't get what I want when I click the link.

Christ. Like clicking the 'Hot cheerleaders in action!' button and getting bear porn. Irritating and revolting.

Comic Book Piracy

Napster for comic books?

if you're happy AND you know it

I didn't count but I know you averaged more beers, on the couch, than I. But I was pretty preoccupied with either eBay or Star Wars: KotoR.

Halo 2. You actually surprised me quite a few times. I wouldn't say you suck so much as you lack experience. Yes you died many times more than I, but seriously you are the only person I can beat that consistently. All the people I play with are better than, or as good as, myself. I know the sponge feeling well. I don't haveXBOX LIVE and the crew I used to play with just has other things going on. Between peoples kids, weddings, night shifts and class schedules it's hard to get together with folks these days.

It was good to have you here Dan. I can't believe how fast that time went by. I had 5 days off work and it's over. No biggy. Such is life. Hip-hip hurrah.

home again

Before I left spokane, I counted beer bottles.
42, in one AHo's apt. That would be 21 beers per man, over the course of 3 days.
Now-that's assuming we split the beers. I don't know that we did.

And this does not include the beers we had elsewhere. Downing Gorgonzola Fries. Eating at my sister's place. While I was visiting with Rasta.

Let me tell you; I drank a hell of a lot of beer.

I also learned that I suck ass at Halo. There is probably nothing that can be done about this. I will play that game, and I will die. A lot. If anyone ever asks where the phrase 'bullet sponge' came from, you'll know that I started it while playing Halo-because that's what I do.

I wish we'd had a chance to play Burnout 3, and that I'd brought God of War. Sigh. No matter how much time there is, it doesn't seem like there's enough.

Fun sights on the trip: the Tillicum Inn, and the Tranny Shack.

I listened to a lot of Spokane rock too. 80's Yes. Led Zeppelin. Joe Satriani. Honeymoon Suite. The Who. Supertramp, Danzig, and the soundtrack to the Transformers Movie.

Good times, overall. I'm pretty much recovered today, and that's cool. I got to see the family, see my friends, and that's good times. I'd do it more often if life allowed for it.

a la carte

My dinner is on the kitchen floor. Beer is now dinner.

Good to know.

Tricks of the Trade: Rafting Guide

:: How Superman Changed My Life ::

Sometimes I just think of a title.

I'm looking forward to it!

The link goes to my site, where I rant on my weekend. Which only sucked in part. But I feel a need to tell people the story about the dude who was a cocksucker to me, and so I'm linking it.

The cheese and beer goodness I am looking forward to. Muchly. We'll be leaving early Friday, so expect us in the early afternoon on Friday. Hopefully, you'll be well rested.

Looking forward to whomever I can see as well. Should be good times, all around.

cheese & taters

I am looking forward to those fries. I've got Dan's back.

I've yet to see Sin City.

Today I watched "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou". I liked it very much. This did not surprise me as I also enjoyed, to a great extent, The Royal Tenenbaums and Rushmore.

There's a story arc from the Batman comic called HUSH. I recently bought the graphic novel and started reading it, it's very good. This did not surprise me, it's a very popular story it seems. Well, I've been in the comic mood lately and last night I abruptly dug through some of the books I bought from the last months-long comic binge I went on a few years ago. I found that I own Batman #608, the first book of the story. This did surprise me.

Of course there are action figures as well. This is my favorite.

NBA Lockout?

There...there might not be an NBA season next year!

Oh wait. I don't give a shit about basketball. I don't think anyone should-but that's their right as a free person to care. The players are whiny, overpaid little boys who need to be publicly caned.

I did find this, though. Weird things are compelling to me.

http://www.wcbo.org/


And it is true; I will be in Spokane next week. I shall have beer. I shall visit my niece and family and friends. I will play lots of videogames. I shall also bring my PS2, so that the glories of RE2 and FF7 can be seen.

And AYWKUBTTOD.

And I shall eat...cheesesticks. If possible, I shall also get the blue-cheese fries that I had in September. I will maim for those fries. I will consider killing as well, if the target is worth killing.

writing under the influence

of toasted cheese and redhook


fundraiser

for sleep, I find
the never-winds grind
lost and refused
loose, while reused,
proves that dill shoes
- When of great, grand
foreign minds -
sprout dreams in early morning .

beer!! beer!! Read all about it!

At work today it occurred to me how much greater my life would be if someone made a vitamin-enriched beer. Ah, 'twould be grand. Anyhow I just googled "vitamin enriched beer" (no quotes) and this is the first thing I found.

Update: "researchers at the University of Oregon have found that hops, a key beer ingredient, can help reduce the build-up of carcinogens in the body."

Mt St Helens slideshow

I remember this, quite vividly.

eat better butter

Dan and Liz will be visiting next week. I am looking forward to it. And the beer. I love beer. Dan loves beer. We will love the beer together. Our sordid ménage à trois shall not go unnoticed by others, as we will most veritably love beer together in public.

I've been writing the last couple of days. Trying, or not trying, to be as ridiculous and carefree in the act as possible. At the very least I have found that I can entertain myself this way. And that reason alone should be enough to keep me at it. Whether any of it is ever looked at again, refined and posted remains to be seen.

I love NETFLIX. At the same time I am frustrated. I've let them know that. You surely want to know why. On occasion a disc will arrive that is either damaged or that is the wrong disc altogether. I don't expect this not to happen. I do feel there needs to be some sort of 'service recovery'. When the ball is dropped or a mistake is made something should be done to make me feel better about it. I want to be an enthusiastic customer, not a frustrated one. The process currently in place is that you report the problem using the appropriate link. You let them know whether the disc was damaged, just didn't play, was mislabeled or what not. Send the disc back and wait for your next disc. Sometimes they ask if you want a replacement disc right away, other times they tell you to stick it back in your queue - I'm not sure how that is determined. I feel that as soon as I report a problem they should promptly send me a new disc, whether that be a replacement or simply the next in my queue. Why should I have to wait until the problem disc gets back to them for them to send me a new one? This decreases the level of the NETFLIX experience and makes me frown.

Ok, so that's my rant on that. In this particular case I've actually had to report two problems for the same disc. The first disc was damaged and the replacement was the wrong disc in the correct sleeve.

I've been watching Smallville: Season One and am down to the last two discs. I was watching the second to the last disc (episodes 17-20) and ep.19 didn't work. I watched ep.20 and sent the disc back. I also had the last disc in my possession and was hoping to watch ep.19 before I started it. Not critical to do, but hey. I was expecting another disc the next day, Spanglish, which I enjoyed, and figured I could wait for the replacement disc, watch ep. 19 really quick, toss it back in the mail (same-day style) and get to the last disc. So the replacement shows up today and I pop that sucker in and damn if it's not episodes 17-20 of SEASON TWO!!! Yargh. So now I may watch the last disc of Season One before seeing ep.19, just so I can get that sucker in the mail tomorrow. Gotta' keep that pipeline flowin'.

on marriage

A link to the Goddess.
The USA, Former Human Rights Leader

comfort food

Just because. Because I really like pancakes. And because I've never had Swedish Pankcakes, let alone Swedish Pancakes 2.1 - New Version And I'll bet neither have you.

hooray!

To me this is good news. I hate Blockbuster.

iPod vending machine

iPod vending machine,
originally uploaded by sbisson.

But MAN, I really wanted a Coke!

Caribou Music Video

This is a fun little video for the song 'Yeti' by Caribou. I'm not one for music videos generally but I'm glad I checked this one out. It was made by Dublin's Delicious 9, so here's a little tidbit on those hooligans.

my burg

By now it is quite likely that you've heard of our little city's mayoral difficulties. With that in mind you can guess the cover-story of our alternative weekly. Here's some funny stuff from that:

a proposal to change our city motto from:

Spokane, near nature, near perfect.
TO
Spokane, near nature, near perverts.

I say do it.



In the'man on the street' department we get:

"Should the mayor step down from office?"

Providing a perfect opportunity for our stuff to really shine, and thus we get:

-it's adam and eve, not adam and steve. I'm not prejudice or anything, but I am fully against gays.-

So perfect a representation of an idiot you'd think, hoped, they made it up, knowing very well they didn't. ugh.

You know what? It just so classic that tomorrow I am going to bring an issue home to scan and post.

Welcome to our madness

We seem to have picked up actual readers. You know, people who read. Then post. Using actual names. (Or proper pseudonyms)

Which is very unusual.

But welcome! Enjoy our madhouse as you see fit. Spread it like peanut butter over toast. A.Ho is the cute one with a kind soul an eye for the ladies and trancendential poetry.

I club babies.

Bloggin My Noggin is Twenty-One today!

Months that is.

let there be more

I always wonder if anyone ever notices that I occasionally change the subtitle and footer on this page.

An experiment? -- I wonder how long it would be before some neighbor registered a complaint if I started building a wall of beer bottles in front of my apartment. Just empties in their sixer-cartons stacked upon each other, or perhaps a pyramid.

I bought the new album by Dan Snaith today. Formerly known as Manitoba, now Caribou. I like it quite a lot, being as I've played it three times and am going to replay it again momentarily. It's called The Milk of Human Kindness and it's, . . . , some kind of wonderful.

Also been listening to Bloc Party's Silent Alarm the last couple of days. Had that album for a while now but just started digging it when it was playing down at Boo's.

And now a message from our sponsor & sponsor.

i just gotta say

ah crap, that's funny shit.

heh. a poem.

In my vain attempt to procure a free SONY PSP I was requested to conjure a poem. Exactly the inspiration I needed, since I could care less how it turned out. So I present to my dear readers 'fudge'.

fudge

early mornin craving
steeped in bourbons dew
gridded against traffics
stewing gait I
nip at, and savior
the grace an glory
o' fudge
rising, shining,
trailblazing. Meanwhile,
petrol burns. Lording ova the
future of fetuses.

The Seanster

The Seanster,
originally uploaded by A.Ho.

Thought this was worthy of posting.

I was also presented with news on Mother's day that I will be an uncle again in December. My Sister and brother-in-law are expecting another.

New pod.

ipod60,
originally uploaded by A.Ho.

I came into a new iPod today. You see, my old 40GB pod came to a sudden end not too long ago. Fortunately I purchased it with a 2-year replacement policy. Being as the 40GB has been phased out I was presented w/ a shiny new 60GB Photo. Darn.

The can of tab is what I was using to ease the searing flesh of my burned palm.

Marvel Motivational Posters

heheh sweet!!

Photoshop thread

From fark.

My favorites include:
We're not just doing it for the money.
We're doing it for a shitload of money.

Laugh away while your childhood is betrayed by the dark side. I did.

Ah, damnit!

July 29th- Portland, OR- Dante's
Sufjan Stevens.

I'm planning on being in Spokane at that time. Niece babysitting.

Sigh.

The Huffington Post | The Blog

Many people will be interested, and happy I imagine, to know that John Cusack is blogging.

New Game!

I learned to play a new game today on the bus:

What's on my pants now?

I sat in something clear (which is why I sat in it) with no scent that I could detect. It had the consistency of vaseline, but was tacky, like drying jam.

I don't think I've got anything of the flesh-eating variety on my butt, and it has now crusted to some odd slickery texture that is tacky, like sap, when I touch it. I don't like it, though. I don't like this at all.

I just washed these jeans yesterday, too. Sigh. I cannot wait to get home and change.

Austin City Limits Summer Festival Lineup

--> courtesy of Pitchfork: Daily Music News:


Coldplay, Oasis, Wilco, Arcade Fire, Bloc Party, Franz Ferdinand, Death Cab for Cutie, Bob Mould, Built to Spill, Steve Earle & the Dukes, Sleater-Kinney, Kasabian, Keane, Tortoise, Doves, the Black Keys, the Walkmen, Rilo Kiley, Spoon, the Secret Machines, the Decemberists, the Bravery, the Fiery Furnaces, Mouse on Mars, the Futureheads, M83, Tegan and Sara, Mike Doughty, and many, many more.

vomitorium

Whenever I see phrases like this to describe a videogame-
-always at a silky 60fps perfection-

I want to puke blood. 'silky'. Who fucking uses words like that to describe a visual experience. I want to turn the speaker into a baby seal. Sure, it was cool the first time it was used, back in, say 1999, but all I can imagine is somone rubbing against their console in highly disturbing ways wearing at most banana hammocks and watching the cutscenes from Metal Gear 3. Oh baby! Your silky framerate just gets me so hot!
-blaarhgh-

The whole list is like an exercise in why half the population should just die. They're too dumb to live.

How do I get my apartment redesigned on the Oprah show?

confession: I woke up two or three times between the early a.m. and noon today, I slept way in. Every time I woke I wanted to go online and remove that post before anyone saw it. It was not intended for posting, I didn't want to be vulnerable and then I did it anyway. ugh.

Once again that pesky inside-voice knew it was the thing to do. The responses are appreciated and taken to heart.

I've known Dan fifteen years now. He's wanted to be a writer all of that time, it was never a question, at least as far as I ever knew. I never wanted to be a writer, never had that urge. Then something clicked inside me a few years back and I started messing with it. I liked the idea that the words and ideas that I have are free to do with what I want. In terms of creation I only need paper and pen, the tools are cheap. On a commercial level this seemed like the ultimate profit margin, my thoughts put on paper and sold to the highest bidder. Of course the urge (or knowledge) I have that I am 'supposed' to be doing this is beyond thoughts of commercial success, but that's where the seed was planted. I just figured I was creative enough and bright enough to pull that off. It's really about happiness and creation and the knowledge that I'm doing what I'm supposed to. And I'm not motivated enought by money/success to do it for that reason alone. I just don't care.

As far as the poetry goes I need to unclench my creativity. Spit it out, tweak it, find out what it is, what it wants to be, or what I want it to be, refine it. Repeat. I'm so resistant to the idea that that's who I am that I don't just let it fly like I used to. The process feels kinked.

you go away for a little while and suddenly everyone's a jedi

Or something like that.

As someone who also is trying to write, I can totally sympathize. Hell, half the reason I leave the house is so I can get some writing done. I have a beer-2 max, and then I can't write 'seriously' any more-and try to get something accomplished. I go to the bar because there are less distractions than at home.

At home someone is always watching TV. I have Magic decks to tweak. Oddly, I rarely feel the desire to read-but this is b/c I spend my time on the bus reading. But there is internet. Porn. Email. Telling people where to shove it online. Videogames. Mmm...there is so very much to be done. If you don't make time, how will you ever take time, eh?

Writing IS a solitary function. Showing it to people getting feedback, however, isn't. I was very glad to take a writing class last fall, and I'll take another one, because it 1) keeps me writing and 2) has someone giving me feedback. The shit I put on the web is mostly a way to keep the debris from my head from taking over. When I'm not doing web stuff, I have to journal, just so I can sit down and do writing that is focused (on a story or poem or such).

The more stuff you own, the more it owns you. The thing about shit like Fight Club-where I'm ripping off the previous line-is that it's a truth told to you by slick fuckers who make more money in a year than I will in 25. I don't resent Pitt, Norton, Fincher, Palahniuk, et al for telling me this truth. (And, from what I know, Mr. Palahniuk is anything but a slick fucker).

I'm all over the place here. I think it's ok to own stuff. But I try not to get more than I need-it's why I don't own an Xbox, or why I try to do yearly culls through my CD collection, or books, to sell. I give away my extra Magic cards. I give away the comic books I don't read anymore. But I haven't stopped buying comics, videogames, magic cards.

Balance. This is the key, somehow. I have to make time to do the work-exercise, writing, etc, so I don't feel like I'm wasting away by spending the occasional Sunday playing Shadow Hearts: Covenant. Like...um...yesterday. There is a place for everything, but ensuring that I give those things their place isn't always easy.

It becomes harder when I want to do things with people, and get little in response. The writing class was great-and I hit it off with the teacher, who is about my age. But every time I emailed him to see if he wanted to do something, our schedules just collided and he never emailed me about anything, so what am I to do? Do I keep pouring something into this to see if anything comes out? Why? I can go write at the Blue Sapphire for a couple hours and see the Suicide Girls strip not but 15 blocks away, and have a more productive evening.

Insert questions about why it's harder to gain friends at our age.

You can't just do something because you have to. That's called slavery. You have to do it because you love it. But even with that, I've found that I need to set goals; I'm going to write at least 1 chapter a month (it's up to 2 now) so I can do something with a sense of accomplishment. Making a goal concrete makes it a hell of a lot easier to deal with-say you wanted to write one poem a month. You don't have to do it all the time, you can take an hour here and there and work on it.

no links included

I've become resistant to the idea of writing. Anytime I think about it, I'd rather not. I never feel like I have anything to say, let alone anything worthwhile, productive or thought provoking. I feel that way right now, but I haven't been able to shake the feeling lately that it's exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. This damn inside-voice that keeps telling me that to write is to live and that I am most definitely supposed to be doing it. That anything else I do is really a distraction from writing. Writing is a solitary act and it emphasizes my solitude more than I care for it to. If I'm busy on the net, playing games, watching a movie or TV, listening to music or doing some nearly irrelevant task like cataloguing music, creating music wishlists or the other odd sorts of mostly unused random databases that I'm prone to then I'm essentially just living in a state of meaningless busyness, accomplishing nothing. And that is exactly what I'm tempted to go do right now, it seems more and more like an addiction. The behavior I resort to when I'm not at work or involved in some sort of social activity. That realization right there is exactly what needed to be written. It is now undeniable. So, what am I supposed to write about all of the damn time should it be a focus of my life, a primary function, purpose, and goal. I have no drive to write fiction, do research or write essays. These are things I don't really have comprehension of, in terms of the act of creation.

The kicker:

I feel I have a knack for poetry. This scares me for some reason. I've done enough of it to realize how much hard work it is, how much of a craft it is and how much time, dedication and self I need to give to something like that. And I don't want to. But it's what pops into my head time and time again. Write. Write poetry. Try it.

"You used to like it, when you did it for fun."

To see if I could, to see if I'd like what I churned out, to see if others would like what I churned out. And they did. Now it seems much more like a responsibility, something that I need to be accountable to myself for. And damn if I'm not in a near perfect place to do it. I'm single with no kids, no responsibilities to anyone other than myself and the responsibility most people feel to be a non-leeching member of their community. Old enough to understand that life is difficulties, pain, misery. Old enough to begin to understand the importance of sympathy, compassion and charity. Good will towards men. Wise enough to know that it's not about the Lexus, designer jeans and HDTVs. As much as I wouldn't mind owning those things sometimes...


Possessions seem to cause problems. A neverending series of desires to be filled. Have an XBOX then you need more games, an iPod - more songs. A big house - more nicer furniture. I get my drift. There are more games than I can possibly acquire and enjoy. Same goes for music, books, movies. No one can do it all. Yet it seems that everyone tries; in order to fit in, to say I've seen it, heard it, played it, read it. We all want more of something and the only things I can think of that are beneficial to have more of are food, water, money; the things that can be given away and be useful to others.


"How do I know what I think if I don't write it down?" - ?

Cool. What's on TV I wonder?

Art is Not a Loaf of Bread

“There’s a reason you can’t copyright a chord progression.” -- Jeff Tweedy

Reasons to Fear Canada via McSweeney's

Decriminalization of marijuana and acceptance of gay marriage without corresponding collapse of social institutions indicate Canada may, in fact, be indestructible.

Xbox.com :: MechAssault

Hey. I remembered what else I wanted to blog'bout. I've been playing alot of Mechassault lately. It was the first game I bought for my XBOX and it's a blast. Next game I'm buying is Mechassault 2. There.

photo

I'm not big into photography, that is taking photos myself. I like photos quite a bit and I think this one kicks the booty. It makes me wonder if i'd been there with my camera, what would I have done?

Rust :: NYC High Line, 2/29/04 (kottke.org)

it's a sunny day

Today was Bloomsday 2005, which means that if your in the coffee business in downtown Spokane you're going to be in the thick of it. I worked fast and hard as did my cohorts. But it is done. Yo La Tengo is rocking me right now and I've drank two beers while checking my email and Bloglines subscriptions. And there is more beer.

I've been into BBQ sauce lately (store bought) and have been enjoying the Bull's Eye (TM), anyone have any favorites to recommend.

I've got two days off, tomorrow is about sleeping in. I had something else I was gonna jot down in here but, you know, beer. Latah.

get that perfect shave

Learn something useful.

Alternative Meal

From the Nevada Department of Corrections for food-abusive inmates. Interesting.


Yum.

The Simpsons

This is for Dan, and anyone else who stumbles upon it that gives a crap.

The Simpsons Archive

Legal Radiohead downloads for charity.

The entire catalog kids.

Pitchfork: Daily Music News

pattern recognition

Link goes to neat Scientific American article.

I forgot my lunch today. I'm hungry, and there are no vending machines at work. Maybe I should go up to Ms. Fields cookies for, well, a cookie.

Been feeling a bit troubled, lately. Nothing specific, just a malaise that has allowed for more troubling thoughts to run around my brain. These thoughts are encouraging, if I'm interested in dark introspection, but plain, well lit introspection is usually enough for me. I guess I need a nap, and maybe a nice little evening of revelry (with alcohol, and possibly boobies).

I certainly need food. Food by itself may help. And sleep is always a good thing-that work around the bed that I haven't gotten to.

I don't know if I'm depressed or just fucking too apathetic to put a name to where I'm at. I'm sure tomorrow will be better, but that betterness is highly contingent on the rest of my day being at least passable.

Oh yes. There's a staff meeting today. So much for my good time. Fuck you, staff meetings.

EVIL

OMG, and not in a good way.l

Quality Couch Time

Quality Couch Time,
originally uploaded by A.Ho.

My brother and our nephew Sean.

The Gash

The Gash,
originally uploaded by A.Ho.

It's a beautiful spring morning, the air is fresh and sweet and I have no plans. I switched a shift at work and now I'm scheduled off at 9:15am, leaving me an entire day to do with as I please. And since I have the entire day, and I haven't been to an ER in around six months, I thought it would be a nice idea to gash my lower right thigh open with a box-knife. I need some guidance, and a new pair of work pants.

forgetfulness

I swear. I have been wanting to get a new 2" binder for 2 solid weeks. I even emailed myself so I'd see it at work and go get one on my lunch.
And I forgot.

It's totally mundane, and wholly stupid, but jesus! What does it take to remember to buy a $5 binder. ($5 for a binder! Holy moley!)

Now I've got to go after work and get it, which isn't that big a deal, except I prefer to use that time to catch the soonest bus I can so I can go home. I'm hungry. I need quesadillas.

cat video

Walking to work today, I had Busta Rhymes' 'Gimme Some More' in my head. Still do.

Ah, work. It just is. Video link was sent by Fuz. It's quite odd.

spit it out

I had a dream last night where there was a rhino on a stage, and a voice said: "The rhino is not concerned."

No, I don't know what it means. It doesn't disturb me in any way, it's just weird in that I can't not think about it way.

And I'm wrestling with issues of my own suckiness. I write, and when I send something away, and never hear a word after that, I don't know what to do.

I guess write some more and try to get better. I can't think of anything else that doesn't involve very dark things.

I'm starting to buy more Magic cards again. I guess the ideas are hitting.

And tonight, I go to the Slipknot concert. I'm looking forward to this. Jumping around to heavy metal is good for your soul when you've got self doubt.

Man, cell phones are dumb

And if you have one...I'd say there's a 14%+ chance that you're a friggin' moron too.

Blah, blah blah, they're useful, whatever. I don't care. I learned not to always answer the phone when I was 21. (Although I should've known better by then, really, but I've always been a late bloomer).

I'm currently playing Shadow Hearts: Covenant, and it's enjoyable. I read a review of Psychonauts yesterday in Play magazine that makes me think it might be the schnizite.

For Dan

Yahoo! News - Fend Off Dementia with Sex, Crosswords and a Run

new quote I like

"Thanksgiving without turkey is like Friday with no two pizzas" -Joey

thanks Fuz

Who stole this form thepoorman.net

"Camus promised me that when I died I would be utterly alone, just an
absurdly suffering creature and a bleak, uncaring, meaningless cosmos.
He said nothing about all these people nagging at me via email. Camus
promised!"

they're wrong

It has come to my attention that there are people who don't like pancakes.

WTF, as they say.

tagged

I'm listening to Isis' Wills Dissolve. Good, atmospheric metal. Just a fantastic album in general, but Wills Dissolve is as good a track as any.

A brief second on this statement:
"I'm very thankful that Dan contributes to this here page of ours, because I'm much better when I have someone to bounce things back and forth with. If this were a solo page I assure you that the activity would be glacial."

Yeah. I've got my own damn site, and sometimes I've got it goin' on, but most of the time I'm just fucking around, and it shows. When I come here and we get to have a conversation, that's sweet. The RE4 thing we did in Jan was awesome to write, and probably more fun to read than most of our posts.

Oh-the link in the headline will take you to Dino Comics, which is strange but I seem to have an affinity for that no one can explain.

damn

another funny man gone

Vader Pod

Yes, i might buy

this

.

must see? no. should see? yes.

zippidy doo-dah

Yeah, I had problems logging in the other day. Haven't been too into the blogging thing at all, changed my priorities a bit. More reading, less PCing. So if anyone actually missed my inane posts, that's why.

Truth is I'm not really big on keeping up my own blog, I rarely feel like I have much to say. I've always been that way. When I was younger I was pretty damn shy and I didn't socialize. If I didn't feel I had something to contribute to a conversation I didn't say anything. And most of the talk in highschool and such wasn't worth commenting on.

I'm very thankful that Dan contributes to this here page of ours, because I'm much better when I have someone to bounce things back and forth with. If this were a solo page I assure you that the activity would be glacial.

Pitchfork: I'm not impressed with the new look. I takes forever to load, there's no improvement interface wise and as far as the look of it goes, eh. The old site was just as good. Another thing: I emailed them a while back with a couple questions and never got anysort of reply whatsoever. I'm sure they get a bunch of email, but ya' know what, that just sucks. As far as I'm concerned I'm a customer of theirs and they can take a moment to send me a quick email, even if it's just to tell me to fuck off and quit buggin em'. I don't really read the reviews too much, and I never finished the Arcade Fire interview, the printout is lying around here somewhere, I just like to check in on the news and check in with the numeric rank they give some albums. I will read a review if I have a good interest in it though, such as the Prefuse 73 album which they gave a 6.x. I'll buy it anyway. And I like their lists, BNM, Top 100 and such. Otherwise, whatever, I still check it all the time but they're getting a bit of a chip on there shoulder, or a bigger chip anyhow, it seems they've always had one.

Halo 2-Fest 2005 coming up at Nathan's new house. 2 projector TVs, different rooms, BBQ. 'nuff said.

Goats!

I'd go see Ted Danson's comeback performance.

Wow.

It's been awhile since I did this. But I've been having trouble logging in. Fuckin' a, people don't you know I can only post in between rants while I'm at work? I haven't updated the web site either, but...well, no I don't have a good reason for that, either. Besides the cold, my need for alcohol and the fact that there's been a woman to distract me from the warm light of the computer monitor.

I have come up with a few things, though:
I'm starting to lose faith in the writing at Pitchfork. Their review of the new QOTSA was lame, with one of the shittiest closing lines I've read there. Couple this with the really, really bad interview with The Arcade Fire, and I'm taking their opinon less seriously. Somehow. (Oh no! Some internet fuck is losing faith in Pitchfork!)

God of War for the PS2 is some good. Any videogame where I can engage in a 3some will earn bonus points. More bonus points for visible boobage. I likes the boobage. But the gameplay is savage, and while I don't always approve of its brutality, I understand what's going on here. It's fun. And not for children.

The Matrix trilogy is awesome, and I'd be an online junkie if I could, so I'm glad I can't. I know the Matrix has issues. Meh. Still more challenging to think about than LotR.

Next time I'm in Seattle I must look for the Elysium brewery/pub/whatever. It's insane good.

Sin City. This must be seen.

Here comes the argument

The following is a reply I gave to the question: Have you been naughty or nice?

"You have presented me with the Iocane Powder dilemma. I clearly cannot say naughty, for this would open me up to all kinds of evil forces, and even some good ones, hellbent on extracting vengance for past deeds. But I cannot say nice either, for that would make me a liar, and we shall tolerate no lies upon questions such as these.

Yet we are friends, perhaps? And friends sometimes let each other lie; we know that there are untruths that must be allowed if we are to get along. This lie would obviously place me in the naughty camp. Yet my concern for said friendship speaks to a goodness that most men would ignore, in hopes that the lie would be more effective. That is-I am willing to call myself a sinner for the greater good, thus putting me farther toward the nice realm, than a dark hearted one.

Of course, neither of these choices is made easier by the threat of physical punishment, which could be seen as getting my comeuppance, or truly a broader statement of man's inhumanity to man, where indeed the good shall suffer, and the gods shall allow it, so that we may grow and become truly free. These spankings complicate an already complex matter; sometimes I know that I am to be punished for the villainy I have committed, and it would be only just for me to accept that stout-heartedly. But I do not wish to be punished for deeds I have not done; the idea is not only anti-American, it is, at it's core level, refusing acts of injustice that makes better than we could be without said challenges.

I must ponder on this matter more. It may take quite some time...but I promise you I shall give this matter my full attention as the day continues into night."

The Mars Volta

I'm listening to Francis the Mute.

Then it hits me: I don't give a fuck about prog rock. I really don't. Tool would be the only real exception to this rule, and that's probably because 1) they're rooted in heavy metal 2) lyrically they aren't just abstract messes that don't ever speak poetically 3) they don't just wander around and then peter out with bloops and bleeps like a drunk through the streets at 3 am to end songs.

And I hear these songs on Francis, and I think: shit man, this is, in some ways, everything I hated about 80's thrash metal-overwrought guitars that want to spend more time going weedly-weedly-weedly wee-weeEEEEEE! than actually playing something or contributing to the song as a whole.

It's too bad, b/c there are some really interesting moments here to, where 70's funk(James Brown horn sections) combine with the mess that is the rest of the band and the song becomes really interesting. But only for 3 minutes. In a 40 minute song, that really isn't enough.

Pitchfork hit a lot of it on the head already, and I'm just agreeing with them, I guess.

Ebay amusement

Found courtesy bigdarkcloud.com

Pretty Damn Funny

On a couple of occasions my brother has claimed Coupling to be the funniest show on television. I was able to watch an episode at his place the other night, and he may not be wrong.

Radio discussion

Something to go with the podcast link down low.

I like Plastic(the web site). Discussion is almost always above my head, and interesting.

In this case, I can tell you why I don't listen to radio.

1) Music is shit.
2) Playing 5 songs per hour is shit. (Average pop song, 3.5-4 minutes. Even if you wente to 5 minutes, hearing, say 9 songs/hour doesn't seem unreasonable. And that's if the songs are 5 minutes long)
3) DJ's are the unfunny. They not only lack funniness, they actually suck the funny out of me, somehow, through the airwaves. It's like a space-time warp, a black hole, a Satan of funny exists, and it absolutely implodes all that is humorous into itself, crapping out something worse than mediocrity, something that there isn't even a word for, it's so lame, bland and weak.
4) Every time I change the channel to hear something that isn't commercials or unfunny, I get...MORE commercials or Unfunny.
5) If the music by some miracle isn't shit, I can count on that hit song being played once per hour, on the hour. I once set my watch by when Soundgarden's Black Hole Sun was on the radio. (Quarter after, for those who were wondering)

That about sums it up.

Oscar fun

I didn't see the Oscars. I no longer give a fuck about what they say is the best movie, usually because a blind dog in a strip club could sniff out better movies, or at least, the good ones, without the bullshit pagentry.

But I read this at Salon today:
'Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz, representing the beeg teets of Meheeco and Espain, introduced the one musical number that didn't feature Beyoncé.....which shall henceforth be known as "¡Banderas! : The Unquenchable Thirst for Shame."'

And that made me laugh.

Mysteries of the morning

The podcast is wild. Makes me think of my days in radio. Except with a geek amping of 12. I don't mean that in a bad way, but at the same time, it's like a audio blog and sometimes that's not always interesting.

I'm sore. I've been sore since yesterday. My ribs hurt all along my right side. My neck hurts along my left-but that didn't start until last night. I can't think of a reason for this. While it is true that Saturday night I went dancing, it wasn't strenous, and my legs don't hurt. The gal-her legs were a bit sore, and she said her knee was a little twitchy, but otherwise, she felt ok.

So I don't know what the hell is going on there.

I also feel a little dense. I slept mighty hard, which is good, but I think I needed another full hour before I was going to be right with the world.

Got a nice taste of feeling very old this weekend. At the Sat night event, I ask a guy I've just met if he's heard Broken Social Scene. He says no, but "my 14 yo kid listens to them." He's 36.
Jesus. I'm 32.

BlogShares - Bloggin My Noggin

I found this. Hmm.