Thursday, April 16

My response to a Star Wars fan

It was a chat on FB with someone who LOVED the new Star Wars trailer the end, who cares so I dropped it. But I wrote it out with punctuation and everything.

I'm curious as to the flaw in my logic. Disney has shown themselves to be a greedy bastardy company who will fuck you over for money. JJ has shown himself to be a guy who does a great Act I and then flounders after. This isn't really a disagreement, so much as you saying "well, I have faith". 
Lots of people have faith.
They (film executives) have stumbled onto a formula that makes them money. For now. One stumble and I promise you it will all turn to ashes. 
That doesn't mean this movie is bad and it's cool you're excited about it!   
I like the trailer and that's enough.

Wednesday, January 28

Put Up Or Shut Up

So she says to me, she says (in response to hearing about my romantic situation) 

"one option would be to fuck your way through it, distracting enough (not with me)."

Yeah, EVERYONE thinks I should be fucking my way through it, but just so long as I don't do it with THEM

To hell with that. This is why we have the Year of Questionable Decisions policies. To guide me when in doubt, so that my behavior is honorable. If someone decides to have sex with me, I make sure they know what they're getting into. So that I put myself in situations where I'm minimizing harm.

So I've got my shit taken care of. You? How about you keep your stupid advice, until such time as you want to actually follow through with it. 

Wednesday, December 17


The house is going to be sold. That much is certain.

I need a way to reframe my future so that it becomes something I look forward to again, and I don't know how. I am underpaid with a future I do not want. I don't have an idea of what to make a change toward and I am so tired of me.

I'm cold. Time for bed.

Saturday, August 23

Why giving advice sucks

Whilst helping someone else going through a breakup, I thought:

I got the relationship I wanted. I was with one of my best friends.

And it didn't work out.

What the fuck am I going to do with THAT?

Wednesday, August 13


Saw Guardians of the Galaxy last night and it was pretty good, even with the couple behind me who had the 3yo girl with them. She occasionally exclaimed 'That was tight!' 

As I drove home, I felt the cry of the old fears, 'what are you going to do?' and I had no answer. I cried a little. I have been set aside and I am mourning not only the relationship that was, but the one I had hoped we would enjoy in the future. 

Time runs out on everything. 

I don't know what I am going to do, and it frightens me. I don't know what my relationship with my friend is going to be like and that worries me. I just don't know things I thought I had a sense of and coupled with just being sad, it's a grind.

Tuesday, August 12

I see anger at Robin Williams' death and I think:

It's interesting how complicated and seemingly paradoxical people can be, isn't it?

For example, one can feel unnecessary anger at someone you never met for being crushed under a burden you never had to carry. 

While still feeling immensely sad that someone who was a stranger and gave you joy is no longer with us.

These responses, they are always about us. If, perhaps, they were about the person in question, maybe things would be different. 

Thursday, July 31

Gonna learn quick, though

"...well go hiking again. But not as tough as last time; my ass hurt for three days after."

"Well, shit; what's the point of having a boyfriend if you can't get your ass massaged?"

"Oh, that happened. Along with other things that hurt my ass."

....I am not a very smart man.