Fav moment

From last night's Daily Show.

A: In modern combat the lines are blurred from what the front lines are and what could be considered a safe zone.
Q: Do they even call it the front lines anymore?
A: They do not.
Q: What do they call it then?
A: Afghanistan.

Hooooly shit. I so do not want to ever be in combat.

Glacial

I finally get to quit saving for a new car. Extra $100 a month in my pocket! It's like a raise, since there is no raise coming from work. 

Except. Tax evaluation on the house means the rent is going up $75/mt. Work is going to ask us to contribute to heath care to the tune of $9/mt. Cable bill goes up $5/mt (with the very, very rich excuse of 'With the economy going the way it is we need to raise our rates' I got when I called to ask about that.)

So about $11 a month now. Which isn't nothing, I guess. But it's still depressing. 

Ze Frank Friendship video

For not losing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bklA2oPVKUU

Awesome

I've been trying to figure out how to say this succinctly for years. NSFW language. 

Fall of Cybertron review

There is a great deal to like about the new Transformers game: the environments are more varied so it looks more colorful than the last one, the controls are just as sharp as the previous game and the characters are dead on.

I like the setup: the player takes over a new character every two missions or so, and each character has a different special skill and transforming mode. It's almost like playing a series of mini-games, in the context of a larger story. 

And High Moon should definitely be praised for giving these characters lines and actions that feel like the characters. Not just the characters from the cartoon: it is clear to any fan that information from the comics and even the tech specs went into filling out the characters and I really appreciate it. As a child, it bothered the hell out of me that the cartoon evoked caricatures when I knew that these were complicated robots.

I know, I know. 

The rest of the game is very polished too: every gun does something different, upgrades seem to matter, enemy AI is a little predictable but not bad. The terrain seems to matter: all in all there is a lot to like! I've even started getting into the multiplayer aspect and that's been something I've enjoyed too, although I haven't seen a tutorial and that might've been helpful, explaining why some things are important/useful. 

The only real flaw in the game is the story. This is a real bummer, because the characters are well executed and the dialog is well written but...

Spoilers ahead:

Grimlock is meant to be the heart of this story: he and his team have been tortured and changed, so it is through him that we, the audience, should feel most connected to, because he wants revenge. None of the other characters have an arc: they are who they are. Grimlock and the rest of the Dinobots provide an opportunity to let non-Transformers fans in and empathize with this character who has had a wrong done to him and wants revenge.

The problem is, we don't meet Grimlock until after he's been changed. We don't know what he's lost or gained, we just know that he feels 'different'. One of the members of his team is dead but since we never meet him we don't feel that loss. I felt bummed, because I liked that character but anyone else coming into the series won't know who Sludge is. 

Similarly, we don't know what Grimlock lost. Swoop is enthusiastic about the change but Grimlock, you can tell just by tone, is not excited. Credit to the voice actor there, he did a great job conveying Grimlock's state of mind. However, because we meet Grimlock at the low, we don't see how he has fallen and it's more difficult to feel awesome when he finally confronts Shockwave.

Worse, there's no contrast between him and Optimus. There needed to be an opportunity to demonstrate how their relationship is similar to the Megatron/Starscream dynamic. By the time Fall of Cybertron is over, we know Megatron is a better leader because he's not as concerned with personal vanity as Starscream is. 

But in the case of Grimlock, we get a vindication of him over Optimus. Grimlock is right about the energon reserves and he makes Optimus's decision to flee the planet look bad. The consequences of leaving his post to find these reserves never fall on Grimlock's head because there's never a moment where Optimus and Grimlock really have it out--and one of the times to do that is before Grimlock is changed, so we can see what he's lost  even when he was correct because he disobeyed orders from Optimus, who was (or is shown to be) right.  

I probably care way too much about this, and it's a story flaw in a really good game. 

Multiple ironies, I'm sure

Had my Dad tell me yesterday that my critique of another person's parenting decisions didn't hold as much weight because I wasn't a parent.

Coming from one of the three people most responsible for my decision to never have children, there is at least a certain level of irony there. And while there are things I probably won't understand because I'm not a parent, I still have a set of values that informs me how I feel people, even tiny people, should be treated. 

Mixed feelings

On my afternoon walk, I heard some howling, a raw, screeching voice that I couldn't make sense of. 

As I listened, I finally made sense of it. 

Someone was screaming for food, change, a cry at how they were hungry. It didn't seem to have any rhyme or reason, just screeching at everyone who passed by a busy streetcorner. 

I'm not just how I feel about all of that. It's...weird.

Dear everyone who likes the Walking Dead

There is nothing, ever, to ask about this show. No grand conversations to be had about it.

There are no surprises. There is no hope. Everyone dies.

Some will also go crazy. They will die. Some will have guns or swords. They will die. Some will have sex and there might even be babies. They will die. There will be moments where the group finds a 'safe' place. It will end and people will die. Some will die to the living. Some will die to hordes of dead. Some will die to diseases that are conquered so long as you have thing like plumbing and basic first aid but those are gone so they will die. 

This is why I quit reading the comic and why I don't care about the TV show and why this isn't a spoiler for anyone following the show or the comic.There is no escape, no event at the end that makes it all OK, none of that. There is no, zero, nothing at all in the way of tension. There will be no surprises. Everyone. Will. Die. 

Now that you know that, you can just enjoy! There are no questions to be asked, no conversations to be had about Jim Bob and his Jimbobbery, or how much more effective a katana is over a .44 or any of that! Everyone will die so you can relax and watch them enact entropy in front of your eyes. You know how it ends. 

Now quit fucking talking about it. 

Home again

This visit to Spokane was...weird. It was the first time in 15 years where I felt as though I really didn't like that city anymore. 

It was grim and decrepit; neglected might be the best word for the state of so much of the city. What wasn't neglected was cookie-cutter new, houses all built from the same mold, making them extra creepy in that 'One of Us' way. 

There was also the presence of a whole lot more Jesus on display and, because of the election, a fuckton of Republican signage. 

It made me feel a bit sad. I knew Spokane wasn't the most progressive of cities but I never felt depressed about that state until I went back this year. 

I think I'd be a lot angrier and listen to a whole lot more heavy metal, should I have never moved away. I don't know what I make of that but...I don't see it as a positive.

Dream

I dreamt I was lost. Then I remembered that it was a dream and dream me has a GPS.

That was pretty rad.

I know it's weird

But I feel sorry for Paul Ryan, just a bit.

He had this opportunity to talk to Americans who weren't like him. Very few people are as candid as the poor. I can only imagine what they talked about but maybe he got a little picture into that life, something that might spark some compassion in him.

And who knows exactly how this little stop at a soup kitchen was supposed to go or could have gone. Maybe somewhere in the back of his mind as he's scrubbing a pot that was, reportedly, already clean he's thinking: what's gone wrong with things? I'm a decent person and I want to help people. Why does everyone seem to be so riled against me?

Or maybe not. Maybe he's just thinking: I need to make sure I look good for the cameras. 

Hard to say. Certainly, he's using this moment to forward his political career and if he fucks up the non-profit status of that kitchen then I hope he does all he can to amend that. 

But I just have to wonder.

Max Payne 3

It's good. It's also the second strongest case of cognitive dissonance I've dealt with in videogames this year.

Essentially, Max Payne says: Do you like noir? Drunks? Gallows humor? Dead women? THEN HAVE WE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU!

The whole game is played through this visual patina of alcohol haze and I like that but it's not reflected anywhere else. You still shoot grenades out of the air, shootdodge (bullet time) through environments killing 4+ dudes at a time, etc. The superhero elements are not really diminished.

It's weird, having every other scene with Max essentially tell you what a fuckup he is but by god he can kill every last motherfucker in the room. Despite being hammered.

The only real complaint I have about MP3 is the complaint I have with any game of this type: Let's build an incredibly tense shooter on rails! Then, let's force players to get off the rails to find clues and special weapon drops, breaking the tension and any sort of immersion, because they need to find these other cool things.

Why do that? There must be a better way, mechanically, to integrate the elements of uncovering the conspiracy and getting better weapons than having the player stop everything they were doing that was fun, in order to run around and look for shiny gold pieces or scraps of paper. 

Oysters, bitch.

What I learned on the internet today (#1): An adult oyster can filter 50 gallons of water a day. That's pretty impressive right? Not to mention functional and pragmatic.

“[The oyster] accepts algae and detritus in one end — and through this beautiful, glamorous set of stomach organs, out the other end comes cleaner water.”

Driver:SF and Spec Ops: The Line

Finished Driver SF and found it to be quite enjoyable. Lighthearted, well written, funny, good characters, goofy enough that the endgame didn't bother me, ridiculous as it was. It's fun and I almost wish I could've spent more time there but I was getting burnt out on everything and the music started to drive me crazy. I need to turn the radio off in these games.

Also played Spec Ops: The Line and when I traded it in, the people at Gamestop said something to the effect of: There have been a lot of mixed reviews from customers.

What I told them was this: it's hard to like; but if you got something out of Apocalypse Now or Jacob's Ladder or liked Joseph Conrad's Heart Of Darkness then you should play this game. It's got something to say, and it especially strong in it's critique of 'super realistic' modern warfare FPS, and it should be played for that reason alone: It has something to say.

It's not always fun. As a matter of fact, it was frequently not fun, it was very weird to play this game and have the violence I was inflicting be accompanied with horrific moaning and the option to execute enemies that were writhing on the ground in pain and posing no threat to me, along with hallucinatory experiences and things just generally becoming more and more fucked up.

However, having something to say is important and I think people should play Spec Ops because it will, if nothing else, give them something to chew on for a little while. 

Why I Am Avoiding Facebook Today

Two, which are two too many, "Remember 9/11" posts.

You know what I'd like to see? All of those people remember what the United States did to cause 9/11, then recall every fucked up thing we allowed to happen, from the loss of our civil liberties to the rapid undermining of our economy due to war, to the utterly pointless loss of life and the havoc imposed on the survivors because of the GWOT, torture, and overall evil that was engaged in since that date. 

Because I'm pretty sure all those people are remembering is how they got hurt. Convenient when it comes to forgetting how we slit the throats of other people. 

Dear Joss Whedon

Avengers 2 is going to end with Captain America being tossed the Tesseract or the Infinity Gauntlet, in all likelihood by Thor or Iron Man but maybe even Quasar, and saving the day. I know this, you know this. It's really the only way that movie finishes out.

Please hire me. I only eat moderately and I really don't distinguish between right and wrong very well. 

Mass Effect 3 ending

I finally finished ME3 and have gotten to see what all the fuss over the ending was about. I played the unimproved ending because I wanted to get a taste for it and...I found it to be choppy. Characters popped in, or events happened post climactic choice that didn't connect with where I had last known they were at. The discussion I had with the Catalyst lacked exposition and I didn't really feel like this was as well fleshed out as it should have been. I knew the choices mattered but the weight of those choices wasn't really presented very well, I thought.

I read Film Critic Hulk's review of the ending though and I have to agree with him on many points: the game's story isn't there to answer your questions about how or why the Universe came to light. The story is there to remind us that we have been fighting wars like this for a very, very long time and the 'best' ending is one that strongly suggests that evolution is the best way forward, to the next cycle. 

I also watched the 'Extended Cut' endings (excepting the one I chose: I have another character to play and will likely pick the same choice so it will be interesting to see how things shift) and found those to be very, very illuminating. Suddenly there were conversation choices that hadn't appeared when I had played through and plot points to help the end sequences connect together. The drawback is that now the endings seem to have a little too much explanation after the fact and not quite enough before so again, players make the choice 'blind.' 

This may be intentional and if so, it feels a little weird for the series. Choices, especially big ones, were always given context so they could be meaningful. To have information dumped after the fact is realistic (we don't know the consequences until we make the choice) it's opposition to previous actions in the series can be a cause for discomfort. Plus, they don't really tell you anything: The Universe keeps going and you can count on shit getting weird again.

However, I am finding that I appreciate the stories and endings that tell me a bit less. I am thinking of the Dark Tower series which ends much the same way: everything starts over, except this time, Roland knows more. The Matrix trilogy does this too: Reboot but with a chance for peace.

Because what else can you do? Human history has been recorded for a long time and we still have the same stories being told to us about love, death, dishonor, greed, and courage. Why is that? 

I have to conclude it is because human beings are still working similar patterns. Not the same. I cannot conclude that it's the same: our behavior has changed over the centuries. But close enough, maybe so close, that it is difficult to distinguish between the cycles. Eventually, those cycles are going to change: either for the better or those cycles for humans, at least, will be eliminated.

What else can you say when you confront God, you know? What is God going to say to you?

"This is the best I could do. Now you have a chance to fix it: what is your choice?"

And the best ending has you starting over but evolved. The other three endings all lead back to where you start: either a fractured galaxy will evolve, or a united galaxy against a creepy overlord who just has 'your best interests at heart' or, in the added secret ending: You lose and the Reaper cycle starts all over.

How could anyone do better? To give the audience a simple victory would be to spit on all the complexity that Bioware had been working on for years! To insist on losing would be a terrible crime against an audience that was rooting for and cheering and hoping that this could be their generation's Star Wars. You cannot betray your audience in such a manner: That's one of the unbreakable rules.

So you have to take the difficult way out, which is to say: You got here, now start again. Good luck.

Not sure what else people could've asked for.

That said: All the complaints about the plot points not sticking together in the endgame, that I feel is dead on and I'm glad they addressed it. Also, the Earth sequence was savagely difficult for me and I'd had my galactic readiness up to 100%. I cannot imagine how frustrating it would have been if I had not done that. (Although I probably did not choose the best team so that's my bad. Even so, it was punishingly difficult.)

And that is that.

I like my words

I was told recently in an internet discussion:

"You sure do use a lot of words to say you don't like my tone."

That is correct. I do. Because telling you that you're an asshole (which you are being) is not something that furthers a discussion (which I would prefer to have.) 

And since the internet is pretty much forever, telling you that you're an asshole better be the right thing to do. 

Happy Birthday, wherever you are

It's been a couple years and I do miss you and the energy you brought to my life. I miss my friend. I wish things were different and I certainly feel sometimes like I was used; the beacon that showed what was not quite right in your life, cast aside once you were done. 

I also know you just disappeared one day and that stings too. Even now, even after everyone is bored of that story and this hurt, even me. 

But you know what? Part of the reason I have the life I have now is because of you. It's a good life. I miss you and I hope that someday we can be friends but even if not: I hope you have a Happy Birthday, because I love you and that's how I want to be towards the people I care about.

Japandroids alone

My sweetie got sick and so she couldn't attend the Japandroids show with me, but I'd already bought a ticket. There's no backsies these days but I figured; Hey no problem. Someone will want to come with!

Nope. Couldn't find anyone. This actually made me a little sad. Why don't I know enough people that someone would want to come with me to a rock show for free? (Or maybe buy me a beer but I wasn't going to ask.) What is wrong with my social abilities? Something has to be.

So I get to the show and I picked up my tickets and then said to the woman at the counter: hey, my girl got sick and I couldn't find someone to take this ticket: Could you give it to the next person who needs one? And she said she would. I got down to the venue and I was still feeling a little gloomy.

Writing is a salve in these situations so I started to write a little but then, the first act came on. And Cadence Weapon: Alright. His voice was a touch buried in the mix: I could only hear his lyrics when he was shouting but I think I'll check him out. So everything started off pretty good.

Barely enough time for a beer later and the Japandroids were out.

Someday, my knees are going to refuse and my ankle will swell a bit much, my back will holler about standing for so long. My arms just won't be able to protect me from the jostling of the crowd. My poor, abused, headbanger neck will scream at me: just be fuckin' thankful I can keep this 5 pound meatbag ON you dick!

But not today. And a great rock show can cure what ails you.