Must work this into conversation

.: "If I had a reason for everything I did, I'd be crazy"-Fighter, 8 bit Theatre.

I've finally figured it out.
The Livejounal- http://www.livejournal.com/users/razorclaw/
will be where I put ideas up for discussion. People can talk back easier there, and, it seems, want to.

Here-the blog, I will just put up tiny linkages, like w/todays comic. There might be tiny things, and comments are certainly welcome, but until Aaron gets back, I don't expect my content to be too deep. I hope he comes back soon, as I enjoy conversing with my friend.

The web site-which you can clicky to if you press the 'My Betterest Friend' link on the right-is where I'll do the longer thoughts, and give less than a fuck if people want to talk to me about them. Show reviews, poems, rants, all that stuff. Lists of linkages. Thinks I like. There will be email links, but nothing 'postable' since I consider posted discussions akin to blog porn; watchable, but not meant to be private, and email to be like the letters of yore, when they were written on substances known as paper and kept inside your jacket for warmth.

I don't expect anyone or everyone to go all these places all the time. I just wanted to establish some kind of guideline, for myself at least, and let everyone know so they can pick and choose which side of me they'd like to sample today.
I'm a buffet!/special in joke

New reading

.: I was reminded last night that it's a very, very small world.

In the meantime, read the link. Good stuff, once again, from my patron Saint.

whoring out

.: I just wanted to have There Is A Blue Light somewhere, so I put it in the LJ.
Well, that, and I wanted some kind of fucking post there.

There's something more than profoundly beautiful about that song, and when you couple it with the last movie I saw-Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, which is great- I think I may be revealing more than I know about my mental state.

The house is throwing a party tomorrow. And the old friend is coming back to visit. That tingle I get when something good is coming-that's what I got.

Mornings

Woke up. Didn't really want to get up. It's Nov 18, 2004, and I don't feel like going to work. Spenet 3 minutes, just standing in front of the bathroom mirror in my underwear, wondering if I should just say the hell with it and call in sick.
This isn't depression, understand. I just know that I don't have a lot to do today that needs to be done. I'm tired. Woke up tired. I've mostly recovered from the cold, but tendrils still remain.
It just feels like one of those days when I'd be better off playing Metroid and kickin' it on the couch than doing anything useful.
Word is, the new Metal Gear Solid is worth playing as well. But I have Metroid and it's sucking me into the Aether world. I'll take it, right now. There seems to be new and interesting things to look at, and I find myself scanning everything in the game, sometimes 2 or 3 times, just to get a handle on what the fuck it is I'm looking at. The controls are as they were in Metroid Prime, and I'm very focused-far more than usual, at looking around at everthing to try and get the most out of my adventure. It's a little difficult at the start, insofar as once you set down a path, going backward isn't made possible. I figure that will change, but right now it's a little annoying because I don't always know that I'm chosing to go on a one way path, and I haven't always explored enough before going through the door.
I haven't even been at work for an hour and I want to go home and take a nap. Just blow this day off, drink some tea, play videogames until my head asplode.
I think I would've done it if there'd been someone to blow the day off with. It's that kind of day-you can't quite justify saying 'fuck it' yourself, but someone else giving you that nudge-and you're gone. You've decided to do it before you've decided to do it, you know?
The sun looked like a sigil of the apocalypse, gray clouds diffusing the faint light around it giving us only a yellow-gray ball of doom. There was an accident on Hawthorne bridge in the jousting lane, which had me arriving later to work than intended.
All signs point to staying the fuck home. I should listen to myself more often.

YAAAY!!!

.: There are times when I see or hear emails such as "watch greatest incest video ever", that I cannot wait-am actually praying for armageddon. For the gods to come, and raze the earth, and take the mostly good and punish everyone else.

Then, things like the link come along. You'll need Flash. And sound.
But it just makes my entire day better.

I need to know who does this song. It's like...balm for my soul.

Edit:
Mein Fuz, whom I love, had found this:
http://www.tism.com.au/

New

.: I've done a new rant. Just something to think about in the troubled times and all. Comment if you wish. Link is where you'd except it to be.

Wha?

.: So...I'm flipping thru the blog, no? Call it narcissism, but I do like to reread what I wrote, sometimes. There can be jems in there-and not. Occasionally there are comments-but this is rare.
Then I read this comment on the last post:
"Doug said... hola .. if you're interested in finding out how deep the rabbit hole really goes contact me 3:18 AM"

Now, really. What the fuck is going on here? You are not Morpheus, and I am not fucking Neo, and these little bullshit movie referencing headgames are something I quit giving a fuck about about 10 years ago. Being cryptic is bogus. Just fucking say you want to talk to me, or x,y,z or goddamn email me; it's not hard. You click on buttons. These buttons produce symbols on the screen known as letters-and I read those letters, decrypt what it is you're saying and we have a dialogue.

Otherwise, you're wasting my time.

When it's over...

.: Yeesh. I'm tired. A little sick, too, I think.
I've been trying to combat, in some manner, the depression that has sunk into not only my friends, but myself, due to the election results. The linkage shows the interesting debate I've been having.

Sigh. It's fucking depressing. Being a cheerleader when, really, I should be advocating the end days I think. But-and here's the rub-I don't quit. If I did, I'd've stopped writing long, long ago.

I've had the adventure of a couple 'dates' in the past month. I guess they were dates. I just went out, talked and drank beer/ate food. It never felt like a date-mostly b/c I wasn't thinking; hey, this is something I'd like to turn into a romance/sex/whatever thing. I just figure-fuck it, am I having a nice time?
Nor did any kind of romance/sex/whatever type thing present itself. Women. I think they know they should avoid me right now. Maybe I should move so I can get laid again. Yes, getting laid is still something I'd like to do. Nicely, so that nobody gets hurt, but without anyone asking me for anything.

I don't feel like doing anything but dictating the terms of a relationship, right now.

I won't deny feeling all fucked up. But I really don't want to feel pathetic. Hence, I need some goddamned rest.

And I need to work on the fucking book. Time, I just need more time.

GodDAMN I'm a dick

.: I know that I shouldn't be wasing my life on Magic General Fourm discussion boards. I know this.
But it's just such a safe place to be a dick to people like Cronac.
http://tinyurl.com/5hwtn
For example. Or
http://tinyurl.com/6ujd6
But truthfully, you have to see this to understand why I'm calling him smallshoes.
http://tinyurl.com/4xrvc

I know, I know. I shouldn't be such a spiteful, hateful fucker to people who have different values than I do.
Guess I'll have to work on that.

Messenger of fear in sight

.: Currently listening to Metallica's Master of Puppets.

Fuckin' a. I don't care what I say about their '90's career-and I say a lot, about how badly it sucked.

But jesus christ on a pogostick getting hummers from Ann Coulter, that album stomps the living shit out of everything. Turn that bitch up to 11 and scare the neighbors.

Because sometimes, that's the only thing that makes any fucking sense.

Something that's louder than everything else.

Brew Day

.: It's time. I've put it off far longer than I meant to, but today...
I brew.

I'm making a Dunkle. No, I don't exactly know what that means. But it looked interesting and dark, like my halfbeaten heart, so I'm going for it.

Besides, it's a good 3 weeks before I find out if it's any damn good...and foist it off on any unsuspecting fool who has to drink the crap I brewed up.
But I hope not. I hope it comes out great and I get hella drunk.

Tonight; Twilight Singers. Sexy.

Oh, Aaron, wherefore art thou?

Why I'm not voting Republican

.: "I don't think I'm good enough in bed to fuck if I
vote republican. And there's no way you're that
desperate."

Shit; is any Republican good enough in bed to fuck?

Today's wisdom

.: "The point is: I don't care how fat you are; you don't travel south of the Mason-Dixon line for pussy."

Brought to you by The Onion.

Fucking computers

.: It's late. I'm tired. I want to make a post on my web site and I can't-but this has to do with not being able to put a new music file up.

So.
The fucking cat is meowing-and it's not my cat-and I'm tired.

Saw some dreamscrewing things at the SG event tonight. Good times. But I won't claim..well much considering my alcohol leve.

Gone, baby, gone

.: It's been a very intense week. My sister turned 30. Two of my good friends have left town. I'm looking for a new roommate with my other sister/roommate.
I'm stressed. I want to get laid. I'd like to get a good drunk on. I miss my friends. I wish my ex wasn't pissed at me. On and on. It's not a good or bad life, it's just a life, and I can tell I'm being called to take a larger part in it, but I'm having trouble finding the heart to do so right now.

I'm kind of addicted to clicking the 'next blog' button at the upper right hand corner now. I've stumbled across foreign language blogs(spanish and french and some scandinavian script I couldn't figure out for the life of me), poets, programmers and politically aware folk.

It's almost as cool as metaspy.com, since you don't know what kind of randomness you're going to get. Seems like the next blog is just chosen at computer whim, so you may even end up where you started. Metaspy is a little...stranger. You can predict some of what people are searching for(porn) and sometimes even more specific things(MILFporn) but occasionally you get things like 'Sunnydale school quality', or
"festival of trees 2004 season of light".

Visited Aaron last weekend along with celebrating my sister's birthday. Got a ton of music off him. Sufjan Stevens and The Black Keys are awesome. Pinback, Sun Kil Moon, are worth investigating. Superchunk just floats off me-as does The Exploding Hearts. Not good nor bad.
My Morning Jacket-just makes me tired. Alt-country ususally does that to me, tho. Glenn Branca just irritates me.
But then there's the Blue Comets. This is the band Pitchfork is hyping as being great?
You've gotta be fuckin' me. They're fucking boring 'rock'(think Stooges/MC5 era) shit that isn't really being done well by anyone right now that I can think of-and the Comets do NOT have the attitude to make it work, and the songs are, say it with me now, dull as flyshit. I can just see them getting on stage, and shouting at the crowd "Are you ready to ROCK?!" about 20 times through 4 songs before actually fucking ROCKING. And I'm sorry, but I want to treat bands that do that like Iraqi prisoners.
Oh well. Different strokes and all that.
The TV On The Radio EP ruled, though.

Everybody should think about registering at votergasm.com

My timing sucks

.: Once again, I find myself way behind the curve-or very very far ahead. It's been 14 years since I worked at McDonalds.
Now Playboy wants to do a spread of hotties who work there.

There's something obvious and tragic about this. I just can't put my finger on it.

But it's also kinda cool. Or-I'm really lame.

Gone fishing.

.: So hey, I've been on a cyberspace hiatus. This is a quick hello. Borrowing a friends internet connection. What's been up you ask? Well only major life decisions. Turns out I am moving. Quite suddenly the opportunity came up at just the time I though I should change some scenerey and I am moving down to Portland, PDX, PTown... By next month this time I'll be living with DM, Nad, Dan himself blogging from the same internet connection, ranting and goading and churning your chum. See you then.

See what happens?

.: We get all disconnected, and/or start doing other shit, and suddenly, there's no posts.
What have you all been doing with your lives without the ability to check in and see our innermost thoughts?

Me; I'm gonna go get a beer and write until things start to make sense again. Life has, once again, shuffled a new hand up for me.

Oh, and I have a mohawk. Not for much longer, but still, I have one.

What a night

.: I'm glad it's over. I don't even want to be home. I want to be somewhere anonymous. I want a fucking reset.

Jesus is fucking metal

.:I always kinda figured he was cooler than those religious freaks made him out to be.