Or something like that.
As someone who also is trying to write, I can totally sympathize. Hell, half the reason I leave the house is so I can get some writing done. I have a beer-2 max, and then I can't write 'seriously' any more-and try to get something accomplished. I go to the bar because there are less distractions than at home.
At home someone is always watching TV. I have Magic decks to tweak. Oddly, I rarely feel the desire to read-but this is b/c I spend my time on the bus reading. But there is internet. Porn. Email. Telling people where to shove it online. Videogames. Mmm...there is so very much to be done. If you don't make time, how will you ever take time, eh?
Writing IS a solitary function. Showing it to people getting feedback, however, isn't. I was very glad to take a writing class last fall, and I'll take another one, because it 1) keeps me writing and 2) has someone giving me feedback. The shit I put on the web is mostly a way to keep the debris from my head from taking over. When I'm not doing web stuff, I have to journal, just so I can sit down and do writing that is focused (on a story or poem or such).
The more stuff you own, the more it owns you. The thing about shit like Fight Club-where I'm ripping off the previous line-is that it's a truth told to you by slick fuckers who make more money in a year than I will in 25. I don't resent Pitt, Norton, Fincher, Palahniuk, et al for telling me this truth. (And, from what I know, Mr. Palahniuk is anything but a slick fucker).
I'm all over the place here. I think it's ok to own stuff. But I try not to get more than I need-it's why I don't own an Xbox, or why I try to do yearly culls through my CD collection, or books, to sell. I give away my extra Magic cards. I give away the comic books I don't read anymore. But I haven't stopped buying comics, videogames, magic cards.
Balance. This is the key, somehow. I have to make time to do the work-exercise, writing, etc, so I don't feel like I'm wasting away by spending the occasional Sunday playing Shadow Hearts: Covenant. Like...um...yesterday. There is a place for everything, but ensuring that I give those things their place isn't always easy.
It becomes harder when I want to do things with people, and get little in response. The writing class was great-and I hit it off with the teacher, who is about my age. But every time I emailed him to see if he wanted to do something, our schedules just collided and he never emailed me about anything, so what am I to do? Do I keep pouring something into this to see if anything comes out? Why? I can go write at the Blue Sapphire for a couple hours and see the Suicide Girls strip not but 15 blocks away, and have a more productive evening.
Insert questions about why it's harder to gain friends at our age.
You can't just do something because you have to. That's called slavery. You have to do it because you love it. But even with that, I've found that I need to set goals; I'm going to write at least 1 chapter a month (it's up to 2 now) so I can do something with a sense of accomplishment. Making a goal concrete makes it a hell of a lot easier to deal with-say you wanted to write one poem a month. You don't have to do it all the time, you can take an hour here and there and work on it.
2 comments:
I only meant that you love it so much it becomes a basic need. That's all.
Oh, I get what you mean. I was addressing A's statement about poetry: You used to like it, when you did it for fun.
This is always true-yet he still feels a need to write. This is mostly good-but at what point do we look at our hobbies or lives and say: I'm not having fun, but worse, I don't have any say over things?
I wasn't trying to single out your comments so much as broaden my own horizons for what writing does. Sorry if it seemed like I was.
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